Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Short, Shameful Confessions

You guys, I have to tell you something: I am much MUCH crazier in real life than I appear on my blog.

I have been trying my best to appear like a nice suburban mom who's remodeling her adorable house, but in reality I am a slightly crazy suburban mom whose job is awesome but makes her a little nuts and who's husband probably could use a wife who is slightly less ... impulsive?

Recently, he told me that when I started being crazy, he was just going to not engage me in my craziness in any way.  I forget why, but it was certainly something crazy I was doing.

So today, when I asked him if we could have a baby goat, he said "no" and nothing else.  And when I told him that I was suffering from a series of potentially fatal mini-comas, he told me to let him know if they ended up being fatal.  You guys, HOW can I do that?  I will be dead, if they are fatal!  (Also, The Bloggess is hilarious.)  In his defense, he did hand me a bottle of wine when I got home from work today, and he married me even after I bought a house while he was out of town.

How could you NOT want a baby goat?  

I feel like I post less on my blog than I would if I were being more honest about who I am.  And who I am is a little bit nuts, you guys.   So fair warning, I am going to try to post more often, but that may involve less home remodeling content and more craziness and recipes.

Really, though, who doesn't need more craziness and recipes in their life?  Offensively normal people, that's who!

I should point out that the last time he tried to engage me on my craziness is when I asked him "hey do you think you could use a baseball bat to hit a grenade launched from a grenade launcher back to the guy who launched it at you?".  I think we were watching NCIS or something.  We argued about it on the couch until I put it on my facebook, where like two dozen people chimed in with various opinions.  Finally one of our friends who was in the army for 10 years popped in to explain that it wouldn't work because the grenade goes off really quickly.  LOGIC why do people bring that logic stuff to my party?  So, if nothing else, today you learned not to carry a baseball bat for protection from launched grenades.


robin said...

Baby goats are a little over-rated. But let me qualify that by saying I've never had one. I've never even had an adult goat. But hamsters are DEFINITELY over-rated.

Connie said...

Really? That's a shame. Baby goats are adorable and I was hoping that their cuteness would offset any, like, eating of shirts or whatever else they are accused of.

Hamsters: dude, there is this awesome commercial now where this teacher is telling you what you need for your kids this school year and in it she has two hamsters named Lewis and Clark and labelled their habitrail "the appalachian trail". I lol'd.

robin said...

That's funny! I'm lol-ing, too! My sister had two hamsters when we were kids, and named them Igor & Charlie. Charlie was extremely mean to Igor. I'm sure my mother was quite relieved when they expired - hamsters stink.

The bad thing about baby goats is that they grow up. And have you ever looked at a goat's eyes? Creepy!

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